Start the Year: Resolutions 2010

Hope you all had a great time last night, we had a great fireworks display all around us for a few hours. Something about fireworks always makes me feel like a little kid heh. This process of review has been more of a struggle for me this year as the last few days I’ve felt really drained and had a bit of the holiday blues which often happens to me when I have time off as my body and mind figure out it’s OK to crash. So I don’t intend this to be very long but I feel it would do me good (considering how I’m doing) to state my intentions for the year in a positive and healthy manner (instead of worrying how I’m going to make it through the year) So here are my resolutions for 2010:

Writing

I intend not to set hard and fast goals any more for writing as I feel mostly it becomes detrimental and demoralising as my energy and time fluctuates over the year. However I intend to keep to the writers group and to be able to bring fresh work each time, to connect with other writers and start the process of ‘networking’.

Now I’m working in OneNote I intend to work on things when they grab my interest, so this gives me the variety in my writing and keeps things fresh. I have a great number of books, stories and articles in progress and I think being able to be flexible with the topic of the week will help to keep up motivation. I intend to write a little each weekend like I used to do until a couple of years ago when I had a break (due to ill health). Even if it’s just a half hour it will all add up, but the regular routine is what I want to recapture, what I do with that time will depend on what story is mulling in my mind as I sit down to write.

I also want to up my reading more. I heard an interesting point today about how if your reading doesn’t match the content you get via other mediums like film and TV it can show in your writing. So I want to get a greater amount of off-the-screen reading time and use it as a relaxing treat.

Photography

I feel that the act of shooting will be much the same this year as it was in 2009. I’m not going to put much energy into getting new material as I have such a backlog already. This year what I want to do is focus on organising and processing the images I have and revamping my gallery and website online. However because the writing will always come first I’m happy to allow for the fact that this may take more than one year to do. What I need is to set up processes (much like my OneNote conversion in writing) that will make it easier so I don’t get backlogs again. Some of this may require new ways to store the data as it takes up a lot of hard disk space. So to find a system that encourages new work, instead of it being swamped in a backlog that never gets processed. I also want to learn to live the with shots I let get away and be happy with the ones I do get.

Health

This year I want to sort out all the support networks and help from my kommune and doctor so I don’t feel alone with my condition. I want to know my options and to learn to manage my condition better within the Danish system. I also want to find the ideal routine that allows me enough rest time in my daily and annual schedule so that when I do have holiday they are that holidays, and not moments where I let the pressure value loosen to let off only some of the building steam of pressure my body and mind is under.

I want to be able to listen to my body and find a way in my work and home to accommodate for my actual needs. I’m ready to stop over doing it for the greater good, I’m ready to give up the crash and burn model of doing things (the keep over doing it until I can’t do anything approach) My body and mind deserve to rest and be as healthy as they can be. I need to face and resolve that this year, instead of carrying on because I’m in the dark about what I can do and I’m afraid of change.

Work

For work I want to find the balance in my routine that allows me to safely do the Danish courses so that I can interact more at my company. I also want to learn to take proper breaks and if I’m at my computer when I take them to be able to relax and not feel I’m being judged because I’m not working in my break! I have this complex (from my workaholic perfectionist father) that I always feel I’m being watched and judged and not working hard enough. I need to let go of that enough that I can actually rest during the day, instead of feeling ‘on duty’ from the moment I get up until I’ve finished cooking dinner at night. I need to learn to mix work with rest, business with pleasure.

I also want to be proactive in the things I’m interested in promoting within my company with other like minded individuals in areas such as quality control and knowledge sharing, to be involved in my growth within the company. I want to show my employers just what I’m really capable of in these other areas of interest.

Personal

I would like during this year to work out a solution between our landlord and the banks that allows us to start the process of buying the house we are in.

I would like to be able to let go of the mental obstacles in my way that only do harm and have the wisdom to listen to the pain I’m feeling that requires change in order to heal, rather than ignore it because my routine is so demanding I feel that’s it’s necessary. I want to give my body, heart and mind all the space it needs to heal and grow and process what is necessary to move forward. I also want to let go of the identity of the ‘doer’ more, the one who has to do everything otherwise ‘chaos ensues’. Because on the flip side it means when I rest I get depressed as a part of my identity is no longer applicable. I want also to learn to be kind to myself and to give myself the things I need instead of denying myself out of a habitual childhood coping mechanism towards limited funds.

So that’s it. I may add the odd thing if I think of something relevant in the next day or two, but really if I got most of that I would be well on my way. Some of this will come to pass, some won’t, some dreams/goals may change or be dropped, whilst others become more real. Time will tell…

I offer these words for reflection…

http://www.niamhbrown.com http://www.niamhstudios.com

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. […] My post is on my blog For The Hole Inside Everyone and it’s called Start the Year: Resolutions 2010. […]

  2. […] like I’ve said before in my review of 2009 and resolutions of 2010 I have joined a writing group in Copenhagen and we are meeting every 2 months. Today was the first […]


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