For The Hole Inside Everyone

I decided today that my blog deserved a name change. As this blog was very much connected with my fumblings through life and my attempts to make clear what I have learned by writing them down, the name ‘Becoming Miss Brown’ seemed to fit. Now I’m not so sure. I think really what I’ve been trying to do in a vague way is address that part of us that feels separate, alone and in need of support. We all have that spot in side us that feels a sense of lacking constantly dogging us through life. So when I’ve had the energy I’ve tried to pour it into this blog and other writing outlets.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Dharma Talks (see my blog rolls below), which is where I got the idea of the name and the idea to abandon it. At first the idea of constantly ‘becoming’ appealed, it was like my being had a life all of its own, constantly in flux, changing and learning all the time. But I see now that really the notion behind that idea is one I can let go of. This idea of constantly perfecting oneself suggests fundamentally that there is something wrong about where we are right now, in all it’s beauty and ugliness. Right now is all we have and we all seem to be taught to perpetually distract ourselves from it.

So as with all things in life, names are impermanent. Where I can, health, time and energy permitting I will come back here with stories for the heart. I believe that is where the hole is felt. We are taught to cut ourselves off from the pain of the world and therefore we are taught to stop listening to the heart. If you don’t believe me try meditating on your heart, breathing through it and see if something stirs inside of you. One moment that can bring the hole to light, to feel it and heal it with attention. To hear it out.